I HAVEN’T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN THREE YEARS I AM HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTCK
The one about the dudes penis being stuck is like a poem
THESE TOOK ME LIKE TEN MINUTES TO GET THROUGH I WAS CRYING AT EACH ONE
this post is terrifyingly funny when your high.
Holy shit I am dying from laughter
|—||Dr. Seuss (via psych-facts)|
|—||Robin Williams (via hazelhirao)|
It’s hilarious that non-Americans on Tumblr are all like “OMG DENNY’S TUMBLR MAKES ME WISH I LIVED IN AMERICA SO I COULD EAT THERE,” while us Americans will literally only eat at Dennys if it’s 3 in the morning and we’ve lost control of our life.
You don’t go to Denny’s. You end up at Denny’s.
the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu
Blood is thicker than waterThe blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
Meaning that relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth.
if you hug me, you aren’t allowed to half ass it. i don’t want that awkward one arm bullshit. I want 100% squeezy, warm, cozy, i-fuckin-mean-it hugs and any less is an indication of WEAKNESS
OK BUT SEE, I DIDN’T KNOW.
I didn’t KNOW. Chris Evans swears like a sailor. Chris Evans has an adorable Bostonish accent. Chris Evans wants you to know that he can tap dance. Chris Evans thinks that Captain America is the least ass-kicking of all of the Avengers. Chris Evans loves to tell the story where he made an idiot of himself in front of Ben Affleck. Chris Evans is REALLY EXCITED TO DO THIS INTERVIEW. Chris Evans REALLY wants to talk to you and tell you what’s on his mind.
Chris Evans is STUPIDLY CHARMING. And no seriously, he swears LIKE A SAILOR. People who swear with alacrity are my fucking kryptonite.
I just DID. NOT. KNOW. I have literally never seen him outside of movies and photos before.
do you think coming of age movie is like, still haunting him?
he sounds like one of my best japanese girlfriends who’s from boston oh my god their a’s are exactly the same
but if this is what people consider “swearing like a sailor” i hope to god they will never meet anyone who actually DOES swear like one
that is sooo not swearing like a sailor. I swear like a sailor.